wear whatever the f*ck you want

why personal style is necessary to be truly free

as i get older and experiment more with my personal style, i think to myself, fuck an “aesthetic". fuck a “niche”. when i think about the people whose outfits inspire me the most, it’s the people who wear whatever they want and aren’t concerned about fitting into a box. yes, of course it’s generally important to have a cohesive and visually pleasing outfit. but the most important thing is that it shouldn’t matter if it's visually pleasing to anyone but you. and that's something that many people have yet to realize.

regular fashion trends don’t even seem to be a thing anymore. microtrends are rampant across the fashion industry. gone are the days of thoughtful consumption, and prominent is the polyester tirade (read more about this in my Fashion Talk guest writer article if you want to hear a more in-depth take on how fast fashion companies churning out microtrends ruined fashion hehe). seriously though, i cannot emphasize this enough: microtrends are the worst.

during a time in our country where our president is a literal cult leader and conservative sheep herding is on the rise, it’s more important than ever that we all remain true to ourselves. historically, fashion has been used as an act of rebellion, and embracing our individuality through personal style is one step towards driving real social change. but how, you may ask? let me tell you how i did.

my parents’ house is on the border of a few towns. because of this, i went to high school in a town i didn’t live in, a town where most of the girls at school wore things like Gucci belts and Yeezy hoodies. i never gave a shit about Kanye West masquerading as a fashion expert, but i’m ashamed to admit that i did buy a fake Gucci purse on Canal Street once. i wore it maybe twice. it sat in my closet collecting dust for years, but i was still so proud that i owned a “designer” item, even if i knew it was really fake.

i used to be a Fashion Industry & Merchandising major at Drexel University. i went from living in your average monotonous New Jersey suburbia to studying at an arts college within a giant university in Philadelphia, a city with a pretty well-established art scene. when i started Drexel as a freshman, i knew what i felt comfortable wearing, and i knew what the trends were, but i didn’t always wear something i LOVED.

during my first year at Drexel, i’d love to say that every single outfit i put on was purely for myself and no one else. but when you’re surrounded by people who treat every class, every grocery trip, every midnight Insomnia Cookie run like a fashion show, you start to feel the pressure to step it up a little.

don’t get me wrong. i love dressing up. i always have and i always will. but i grew up partially in Staten Island, NY, a NYC borough, and partially in a smallish Jersey town. PJs and sweats are the norm for everyday outings there (and by the way, there’s nothing wrong with that!! no judgement here, i swear). in high school, wearing jeans and shoes other than UGGs was enough to be considered a fashion rule-breaker. one time, i wore an argyle sweater vest (inspired by Golf Le Fleur), and i got dirty looks all day at school.

left: PJ pants and a tank top, the pinnacle of style and grace at 16 in New Jersey in 2020. i probably wore this to Applebee's and thought i was hot shit.

right: The Neighborhood concert. my junior year of high school. that night, i broke in my first pair of Doc Marten's. one of the rare times in my high school years that i wore something that felt like me.

so you can imagine how out of place i felt when i started classes at Drexel. i was sitting next to vintage Margiela while i was in Air Force 1s! i felt ridiculous. i knew i could do better. so i did. i paid less attention to TikTok aesthetics and more to pieces that spoke to me. and as time went on, it became all for me and not just to blend in better with my peers. every penny saved from years of working in the mall after school went towards shopping trips on South Street and digging through Depop.

left: an outfit from the beginning of college. i was so baby! not bad, just not quite me.

right: an outfit from the end of freshman year. major progress! what a difference that year made in my style.

you don’t know true freedom until you’re able to put together an outfit that you feel 100% comfortable and confident in. for some people, it comes easy. but to be so real, i was never one of them.  i’ve been through many an identity crisis. i’ve been through God knows how many eating disorders. i've tried to force myself into so many boxes. the immense embarrassment that came with being a fashion major, working in the fashion industry, wanting to one day work as a fashion stylist & being able to put together an amazing look for somebody else, but not be able to give myself that same gift, was truly awful. but the sheer confidence that came with dressing authentically me was euphoric. 

once in a while, i’m asked to describe my style. i tell people it depends on the day. and it does. some days i lean more boho, others i play with a grungier look. some days, i can’t tell you what vibe i’m going for. it doesn’t matter anymore. i just wear what i like.

above: some more recent outfits of mine

i don't go to Drexel or study fashion anymore. i still don’t own any vintage Margiela. sometimes, i’m dressed for the runway in a Walgreens, and sometimes, i do wear sweats and PJs out in public. but no matter where i am or what i’m wearing, i know it’s real.

i know i’m growing up. i know a few years ago, i would have wanted to shrivel up and die of embarrassment than be caught standing out from the crowd. now, i really don’t give a fuck if i’m the only one wearing a skirt in a class where everyone else is wearing PJ pants, or vice versa. all i care about is being my own person.

i know who i am, and i’m no longer afraid to show it. so i highly encourage you to do the same. free yourself from the shackles of societal norms and please just wear whatever the fuck you want. if you want to experiment, experiment. if you want to stick to the basics, stick to the basics. as long as you dress for you, you’re winning.

thanks for reading.