being cringey

i’ve always wanted to start wearing more colorful undergarments. i want to buy a cheetah print bra that peeks out from under my tank top a little, and underwear with tiny purple bows on them, and socks with frilly lace trim. i want to be the kind of person who puts flowers in her hair and lies on a blanket in a park by herself reading, a person who isn’t afraid to stand out.

yet, i wasted so many years of my life caring about what people thought of me. i cared so much to the point that i would avoid doing the things i wanted to do because i was scared that people would think i was cringey or weird.

during my sophomore year of college, i tied bows of pink silk ribbon on everything. from tote bags in my closet to jars of peanut butter and Nutella in my pantry, i put a bow on everything.

since then, i may not tie bows on things anymore, but i’ve started putting pins on my bags. i buy matching pajama sets and use bookmarks with cheesy puns on them. i put a naked little baby (Sonny Angel hipper) on the back of my computer screen and sit in cafes alone while i sip chai lattes. i’ve actually enjoyed looking at a poster of a cat hanging from a tree with “hang in there baby” printed on it. these are all tiny things that make me happy every day.

in an influencer-heavy era where everyone is social-media obsessed and scared of being cringey, i try to push myself to be as cringey and weird and silly and whimsical as possible. life is fucking hard, and i think it’s so important to do as many things as possible to create your own happiness & joy, even when times are tough. 

one of the best ways to do this is to spend time with yourself. take yourself on a coffee date, go to the movies alone, go to the park and feed the ducks. get comfortable being by yourself and take the time to truly get to know yourself. 

years ago, i would have screamed in horror at the thought of going somewhere in public alone. but in 2023, i conquered this fear and went to the movies alone for the first time. 

walking into the theater, i was so nervous. couples holding hands, groups of girls with their arms linked together, and parents wrangling their energetic little ones seemed to swarm around me. i felt more alone than ever, and as i sat down in the old beat-up red leather chair in my local AMC theater, i really started to panic. i thought to myself, everyone is giving me dirty looks! i must look so pathetic sitting here by myself. why did i do this? yet after the lights dimmed and the movie started, i realized i was just overthinking. when the lights are out and the movie is playing, nobody notices if the girl in the seat next to them is alone. they’re just there to watch the movie. and that’s when i realized something super important: nobody cares!

my solo coffee date on st. patrick's day 2025

everyone is so wrapped up in themselves and their own lives, they’re too busy to notice the things you’re feeling insecure about. at the movies that day, nobody cared that i was wearing a hoodie with a stain on it or that i ate my whole box of cookie dough bites. nobody cares when you’re wearing mismatched socks or accidentally stutter when talking or if you still sleep with a stuffed animal at night. so you might as well just do whatever you want!

go to the movies alone. make a million different playlists, one for each oddly specific little mood. collect all the little trinkets you want, even if they’re not practical. look out the window in the car with your earbuds in and pretend you’re in a music video. sing as loud as you want in the shower and doodle in the margins of your notebooks and dress up your pets in little outfits.

to be “cringe” is to be free. to be quirky, be weird, be silly, is to be free. to be comfortable with your solitude is to be free. once you realize that the only opinion of you that matters is your own, you can allow yourself to find joy and peace within yourself. because at the end of the day, you are all you need.